Men Grieve Too

In dealing with miscarriages and infertility, it has sometimes seemed like I am alone in this. What I mean is, it is my body that is causing the miscarriages. It is my body that is experiencing all the side effects of the Clomid and the changing hormones. But I forget that I am most certainly not alone. Even when I feel at my lowest, my husband DanRo is ALWAYS there for me. He is going through this with me too. He may not be able to experience the physical pain that I am going through, but he most certainly experiences the emotional pain just like me.

Since early pregnancy and miscarriage are things that are not always openly talked about, I did not know how to act after any of my miscarriages. I had never experienced it nor had I gone through it with anyone before. In my head, it was my body and my problem. I was the one experiencing the the pain. I was the one suffering. DanRo comforted and consoled me. But in my emotional roller coaster, I didn't know I needed to do the same for him. I didn't think that he would grieve the same way as me. After all, he didn't feel the things that I felt going on in my body, so how could it be real for him? 

It wasn't until after I started talking opening up about my experience that DanRo started opening up about his. He was sad too. He grieved too. He longs to be a father just as much as I long to be a mother. He has even told me since that he thinks about being a father a lot more than I think he does.

When it comes to miscarriage, men often get pushed aside. They tend to have to be the strong one. But they need their support system too. Opening up about everything has opened our eyes to just how many people care and how many have gone through it too. DanRo even started his own blog called DanRo's Heart Strings. I have found several support groups that are for men dealing with a partners miscarriage. I had no idea such support even existed! I'm so glad that I am finding out that people are opening up more about these issues.