Just Don't Think About It (Yeah Right!)

When I start opening up to people about my infertility, one of the most common responses I get is, "Just don't think about it. Forget about a baby. And it will happen." While I know this is usually well intentioned advice from people who are just trying to help, it sometimes can be frustrating to hear. I understand that to get pregnant, I should relax and be as stress free as possible. But please tell me how I am not to think about having a child when it is literally on my mind 24/7. Even if my mind does wander, it never strays far from a baby.

But seriously, how do I stop thinking about it all the time? Please help me. It's so hard when you are going through some varying degree of fertility treatment and you have to track your monthly cycle. You always know where you are. You tend to hear things in your body that you wouldn't normally notice. It can be consuming.

Now I don't want to discourage anyone from offering their support in this time when I so clearly need it, because support from everyone is always needed and welcomed with a whole and open heart. I need and crave the support. I love hearing from everyone, women, men, fertile, infertile, childless or a parent to many. But unless you have tried to have a child and have failed, you don't fully understand. And this is where that well intentioned advice can sometimes turn sour to someone dealing with infertility. But that doesn't mean that you can't offer your support. Offer a shoulder to cry on. An ear to listen. Or just be there. Often, when I have been struggling, I didn't need advice or words at all. I just needed a compassionate person to be in the same room with me so I knew I wasn't alone. Sometimes that it all it takes to be there for someone. And it helps more than that person will ever know.

I also want to thank all the women and men that have shared their stories. Every story that I have heard has been different and all have offered me hope. Even if the outcome hasn't been a child, it shows me that if I am meant to be childless, that I will be ok. I think everyone sharing their own story of infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy, and parenthood have helped the most just for me to know that I am not alone and life does go on. This might be the first step I need to take to stop this all consuming idea in my head and "just forget about it."

Keep the support coming in and I will be sending it right back out. <3